My husband has a custody hearing coming up and he wants me to do the talking because he has a sort of stage fright/performance anxiety thing when he has to talk in court. He gets extremely confused, freezes up, and/or gets the wording he is trying for completely wrong (he means one thing, but what he says comes across totally differently). He feels that the issues involved are to important to get over-looked or his points be misconstrued if he has to do the talking and questioning himself. We cannot afford an attorney and were recently informed that attorneys are are only assigned in criminal cases. If he signs a limited non-durable power of attorney to me, could I do the talking in court? If that won’t work, is there any way to make it happen?
For the record, I am not the new wife. He and I have been together for 12 years (they were never more than "friends"). Our oldest almost 9, my step-daughter just turned 6. Long, complicated story and 6 years of fighting for every minute with her.
No. I’m sorry, but you cannot speak on his behalf in a hearing unless you are a licensed attorney.
A Power of Attorney would only give you the ability to act on his behalf (sign contracts, deal with assets). It doesn’t give you the ability to testify or speak on his behalf during a hearing.
Under these conditions, his best bet is to make absolutely certain that the court record says everything he needs to say. He should submit a declaration that provides all of the facts he wants the judge to consider. (Limit the opinions. The judge will draw his/her own conclusions based on the facts.) If the written record contains everything your husband wants the judge to consider, then he will not need to speak nearly as much.
And, please let me say that "the new wife" factor is guaranteed to be one of the top five sources of irritation for a family court judge. If you find it absolutely necessary to go with him to court, you should be there for moral support only. The paperwork should not refer to you. Your husband should not even mention you. (The only exception would be if you are a witness to something that is absolutely critical for the judge to hear about.)
In all candor, though, family law judges are used to seeing family situations in which everything was going just fine until the guy got remarried. (Now, we both know that the ex-wife is just as likely as the new wife to stir things up, but it seems easier to blame the new wife.)
Response to edit: Sorry. I should have been a little more clear with my terminology. When I say "new wife" I should actually be saying "current wife." It doesn’t necessarily mean a newly acquired wife and I definitely don’t mean it in a derogatory fashion. I’m representing a guy who sounds a lot like your husband on a pro bono basis and having to deal with a judge who thinks his current wife is a negative catalyst. It’s VERY frustrating . . . because it’s the ex who is the nut but the judge and the ex want to focus on the current wife.
